Five-O Babysitters?
by Book 'em Again
Summary: They could handle murderers, mob bosses and spies but Steve, Danny and Kono may be in over their heads when they volunteer to babysit Chin's eight kids for a day. Hilarity ensues when the three bachelors learn about the joys and trials of parenting.


_Author's Note: This story is a result of a challenge. I was given five lines (which I've underlined) to work into a story and this is what my brain came up with. The amazing cover picture was drawn by bkart and I hope you all love looking at it as much as I do. _

* * *

In the Five-O offices two detectives sat hunched over at a single desk as they spoke in hushed tones. To anyone looking at the two they would assume that they were hard at work on a case. While it would be true that the detectives were hard at work, their attention was on something they considered far more important than a case. Suddenly, the larger of the two straightened up and exclaimed, "Steve, ain't ever gonna go for dat!"

Dan Williams looked at his friend and said with a smile, "Trust me."

Kono Kalakaua chuckled. "Fine."

"Alright, you distract Chin and I'll handle Steve."

"Good luck, Bruddah. You're gonna need it."

Danny stood up and walked toward Steve McGarrett's office and knocked on the door. "Come in," called the voice from within.

As Danny approached the desk, Steve asked, "What is it, Danno?"

"You know Chin's niece is getting married on Saturday."

"Yes, and I've already given him the day off."

"Well, because the weddings on Maui only Chin and his wife were planning on flying over but their babysitter backed out and they don't have anyone to watch the kids so Chin doesn't think he's going to be able to go."

Steve looked sympathetic. "That's rough."

Danny nervously shifted his weight before saying very rapidly. "I was thinking that since our caseload is low at the moment that maybe we could watch them."

"What?"

After taking a deep breath, Danny said normally, "I was thinking that since our caseload is low at the moment that maybe we could watch them."

Steve looked incredulous at the suggestion. "We? You think we can watch eight kids!"

"Well, yeah. And Kono too."

The expressions crossing Steve's face didn't make it look like the addition of Kono made the older detective more receptive to the suggestion. "Danno, where in the world did you come up with that crazy idea?"

"It's not crazy," Danny countered. "It's the right thing to do."

Steve grew quiet and Danny knew that he had convinced him.

As Steve debated the idea, he thought that Danny looked too sure of himself; the problem was that his second-in-command knew him too well and the truth of the matter was that Chin deserved some time off with his wife. His mind up, Steve decided not to give Danny to opportunity to gloat and instead ordered through the intercom, "Jenny, send Chin and Kono in."

When Chin and Kono entered the office, Kono looked over at Danny who gave him a big thumbs up. Steve privately growled; his men had clearly planned this behind his back.

Determined to get this over with before he changed his mind, Steve said, "Chin, I heard you might not make it to the wedding."

Chin nodded. "The babysitter broke her leg so if you need me to come in…"

"No," Steve interrupted feeling a little guilty; was he that much of a taskmaster that Chin assumed that he needed to come into work? "We were thinking that maybe we would watch your kids so you and your wife could still go."

Chin looked like he was about to laugh. "You? Watch my kids!"

Steve didn't understand what was so funny. "And Danny and Kono."

Shocked, Chin looked at Danny and Kono and realized that the offer was serious. "You don't have to do this."

"I know." Steve wanted to say no but the look on Danny's face told him that he would never hear the end of this if he didn't agree. "But it's the right thing to do."

"Thank you, I need to call Lin. She's going to be thrilled," Chin replied gratefully as he left the room.

Silence descended on the office as the reality of what they had volunteered to do hit the three detectives. Kono spoke up first. "Chin's kids are out of diapers, right?"

* * *

At seven o'clock on a Saturday morning, Steve, Danny, and Kono meet outside Chin's home and enjoyed their last few seconds of peace and quiet. The three detectives looked at one another as if to ascertain that they had really agreed to this task. When no one suggested that they back out, Danny gestured toward the front door. "It's time."

Steve walked up and knocked. He heard voices call out before the door opened and Chin let them into the house. They entered the kitchen where Chin's wife Lin was slipping a cup of tea as she kept a watchful on her children as they ate breakfast.

The three teenagers: Tim, Alia, and Suzy were all sitting at one end of the table with surly looks on their faces; they didn't look happy about being woken up early on a Saturday morning or, Steve suspected, at the suggestion that they needed a babysitter.

The next oldest child was Maria, a yawning eleven year old with glasses, who was playing with the eggs on her plate. The young boys, aged ten and eight, were Gabriel and Thomas and they were chatting excitingly in between large bits of food. The six year old, Amy, waved her fork at them as they entered the kitchen. Tilda was the youngest at three years of age and she was happily munching on some cheerios.

Lin was all smiles as she greeted them, "Thank you so much for agreeing to do this."

"We're glad to be a help," Steve replied hoping that his words would still be true at the end of the day.

After Danny, Kono, and Lin also exchanged pleasantries, Lin briefly explained their responsibilities and all the detectives were relieved to find out that Tilda was potty-trained.

Once everyone knew their duties, Chin and Lin then left for airport so they could catch a morning flight to Maui. Their plan was to attend the wedding that afternoon and then fly back later that evening. In all, the three detectives would be alone with eight kids for fifteen hours. Luckily, things started out well as none of the kids burst out crying when their parents left.

Unfortunately, that peaceful state didn't last very long.

"Done," Thomas cried as he slapped his fork down on the table.

"Me too," Gabriel added.

"No you're not," Thomas shot back. "You still got eggs left."

"I can still be done."

"Mom would make you eat it."

Danny noted the potential trouble and moved toward the two boys but he was too late as the disagreement escalated when Thomas shoved his brother's plate with a few pieces of scrambled eggs on it towards his brother's chest.

Before Steve could blink the two boys were out of their seats and wrestling on the floor. The two of them knocked into the table, sending food and drink flying. Alia jumped up with a scream, orange juice splashed all over the front of her clothes. Tilda started crying as her cheerios fell to the floor.

Before they could cause more damage, Danny grabbed Thomas and sat him in down in a chair against the wall and held him there. Steve placed a firm hand on Gabriel's shoulder and steered him to a chair next to his brother. Tilda's cries continued to fill the kitchen as Steve heard Kono attempting to calm her.

"Nice job," Alia yelled sarcastically at her brothers before storming out of the kitchen with Suzy right behind her.

Tim stood up and shook his head. "You guys have no clue what you're doing, do you?" He then walked into the living room and Steve heard him turn on the television.

Danny began to talk to Gabriel and Thomas and Steve decided to him handle the discipline and turned to find Kono picking up individual pieces of cheerios and trying to convince the crying toddler to eat them.

Amy decided to be more helpful than her teenage siblings and grabbed a pile of napkins and held them out. "Here, Mr. Steve."

While Steve was grateful for the fact that Amy wanted to help, she had somehow managed, in grabbing a handful napkins, to knock the larger pile of napkins onto the puddle of orange juice on the floor. Steve bent down and used the fallen napkins to mop up the mess and Amy joined him, mimicking his actions.

Maria, who had been sitting calmly at the table this whole time, realized that there was no longer any food on her plate and asked, "Can I have some more eggs, please?"

Steve was dumbfounded; Maria looked like she was serious. "Wait a minute," he murmured and concentrated on cleaning up the mess on the floor.

When Steve finished with the floor, Danny came over and stated, "They're both in time-out and if they start fighting again they won't be allowed to watch any TV today."

Steve remembered the boys' rambunctious energy and wasn't sure if the threat of no TV would be enough. Plus, Tilda's crying was really starting to grate on his nerves. At his wits end, Steve suggested quietly, "I can call Doc and tell him it's an emergency. He should be able to get us enough sedatives to knock these kids out until Chin and Lin come home."

"Steve, you can't do that! It's just not right!"

Steve looked at the mess in the kitchen and asked, "And this is?"

Danny laughed. "Obviously you never were a kid."

Steve grunted and moved to give Maria the eggs she asked for. Kono seemed to realize that more cheerios were not going to calm Tilda so he picked her up and starting shushing the toddler. Instantly, Tilda stopped crying and started laughing as she played with Kono's hair.

"How 'bout dat," Kono stated in amazement.

Steve would have agreed if he wasn't busy trying to pick up all the pieces of eggs and cheerios scattered across the floor. If nothing else this day was going to remind him why he had never gotten married and had kids.

By the time the kitchen was cleaned up, Gabriel and Thomas were released from time-out and they ran into the living room, their earlier fight completely forgotten. Steve and Danny followed them as Steve privately debated how in the world they were going to keep the kids out of trouble until Chin got back.

Kono carried Tilda into the room and set her down next to a pile of toys. She looked at the toys for a minute before grabbing a rag doll and then looked expectantly at Kono. "Up!"

Kono acquiesced to the request and picked the toddler up who immediately started playing with her doll on the top of Kono's head. Grateful that Tilda had attached herself to Kono, Steve turned his attention to the rest of the room.

All three boys were sitting around the TV when Amy ran over and plopped down on the couch next to Tim and called out, "Cartoons!"

Steve braced himself for another fight but Tim just sighed and changed the channel.

Having changed into new clothes, Alia returned with Suzy behind her and a pile of magazines in hand. The two teens found their own corner and ignored the rest of the room. Giggles would occasionally emerge from the two but as long as they didn't cause any trouble Steve was content to leave the teenagers be.

Kono looked like he was getting tired so he set Tilda down on the couch before taking the last seat. Tilda quickly moved over and climbed onto the Hawaiian's lap. Amused Kono asked, "Am I wearing a sign dat says teddy bear?"

"Yep," Danny said. "And it reads large and extra cuddly."

Kono glared at his friend and Steve figured that Danny would have to watch out for retribution once the day was over.

Things remained calm as Bugs Bunny entertained them all. Saturday morning cartoons, Steve decided, were an adult's best friend. All the younger children watched the shows with rapt attention and Steve was beginning to think that he might survive this day. However, his earlier assessment of cartoons was greatly tested when he was forced to endure a half hour of "Josie and the Pussycats." Steve tried to change the channel but Amy was adamant that they were going to watch every minute of her favorite show.

The sacrifices Steve made to keep the peace.

* * *

As Kono sat cross-legged on the living room floor he looked at the stuffed bunny Tilda had placed in his hands while she played with a bear beside him and decided that he was having the time of his life. It wasn't that Kono had a great fondness for fluffy creatures it was that he had been given a front row seat to watch Steve handle the attentions of four girls.

After lunch, which thankfully had been a quiet affair, Danny took the three boys outside to throw around a baseball. Since Tilda remained attached to Kono that left Steve to watch the rest of the girls who seemed to delight in playing the most feminine games they could like of; whether this was by design or pure luck Kono didn't care as he simply enjoyed the show. Right now they were having a tea party with various dolls and stuffed animals. Even Alia and Suzy were fully involved as they delighted in critiquing the way Steve drank from his cup.

Several times Kono had been tempted to burst out into hysterical laugher only to face the infamous McGarrett glare. Temporary silenced, Kono found solace in the fact that he was gaining enough teasing material for the next year out of this one day.

After Maria finished her tea, she stated, "If this was a real tea party we'd all be dressed up."

"Dress up!" Amy cried out and ran from the room. Steve sent a questioning look toward Alia who assured him that she'd be back quickly.

Alia was right as Amy skipped back into the room after a couple of minutes with a wings attached to her back and a wand in her hand.

Suzy shook her head at her sister. "Silly, that's not what you wear to a tea party."

"We finished! And the fairy is my favorite," the six year-old insisted.

Maria stood up. "We should all dress up.

"Me too!" Tilda demanded.

"Alright," Alia said and then walked over and took her sister's hand. The four girls then disappeared into the other room leaving Steve and Kono alone on the floor trying to figure out what had just happened.

They didn't have to wait long before Tilda scrabbled back into the room on her hands and knees, meowing. She took one look at Kono and immediately pounced into his lap. "Oomph," Kono gasped as he caught the overenthusiastic toddler. Kono had to admit that she looked cute with cat ears and a tail.

Maria followed quickly behind Tilda. She was dressed in a lacy dress complete with white gloves and a wide brim hat. Maria twirled and then curtsied to the two detectives who clapped to show their approval.

Alia and Suzy walked in together. Alia was dressed in a tutu and Kono remembered that the eldest Kelly girl took ballet. Suzy's costume, however, confused him; she was carrying a sword and what looked like armor.

"Who are you, Suzy?" Steve asked.

"Mulan; she saved China by pretending to be a boy and joining the army."

Amy returned and threw something at Steve. "Here's your costume, Mr. Steve."

Steve looked skeptical as he held up a flimsy grass skirt and asked, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Da hula, Boss," Kono said as he stood up and demonstrated.

"Nice try but no."

"Come on, Mr. Steve," Amy urged.

"No," Steve stated firmly. "Kono's Hawaiian, he can be the hula dancer."

Maria took the grass skirt from her sister. "Mr. Steve's right. This is Mr. Kono's costume. Mr. Steve needs something better."

Unable to resist, Kono joked, "Yeah, something lordly."

At Kono's words, Alia's and Suzy's faces lit up and they gave each other identical looks. "We've got it." Suzy declared. "Mr. Steve should be the king."

Steve obliviously didn't think that this was too bad because he agreed. Kono, however, was suspicious of the look the teenage girls had exchanged and waited eagerly to see how this would play out.

The teens gestured for Maria and Amy to come to them and after a whispered conversation the younger sisters ran toward the other room. They didn't have to wait long until the excited girls returning cradling their precious props in their arms.

Since he had agreed to this choice, Steve could only watch with horror as Amy stepped forward with a shiny tiara and placed it on his head. Then Maria followed with a bright pink sheet that she tied around his neck as a cape.

It took all of Kono's resolve to keep from laughing and his lungs ached with the effort. Alia and Suzy, however, had no reason to restrain themselves and their giggles filled the room.

Steve smiled and played along with the act until they all heard the outside door open and close. Steve hastily reached up to remove the tiara but he was too late; Danny, Tim, Gabriel, and Thomas walked into the room and stared at the scene laid out before them. They boys looked shocked while Danny's face was gleeful and Kono could tell that he too was forcing himself to remain silent

Like a herald about to make a royal announcement, Amy gestured toward Steve with her wand and declared, "Look! Mr. Steve's a princess!"

No look Steve could have conjured up would have able to stop the laughter that followed.

* * *

Danny arms were submerged in soapy water as he scrubbed the pots and pans from dinner. As he washed, he heard laughter from the living room where Steve had started a movie. All the kids were in there expect for Tim who had barricaded himself in his room to make a phone call and Tilda who had managed to spill her entire meal all over herself and was upstairs with Kono taking a bath.

After making sure the kids were settled, Steve entered the kitchen and placed of dishes next to the sink and stated, "I still haven't forgiven you for leaving me to watch the girls."

"But, Steve, you looked very regal as a princess."

"And you will look very busy after I show all the paperwork that's due next week."

"Come on, Steve," Danny countered with a fake whine in his voice. "I thought the dishes were my punishment."

The look Steve sent him left no doubt in Danny's mind that he should enjoy the rest of this day the best he could because he was going to be paying for it next week. Danny smiled to show that Steve's threats didn't faze him and threw his boss a towel. "That means you get to dry."

As they finished cleaning up the kitchen, Danny listened carefully for any hint of trouble from the living room but apparently Steve had chosen the movie well because all he heard were the sounds from the television.

Finished, Danny flicked the excess water on his hands towards Steve and grinning walked into the living room. However, one glance around the room quickly wiped the grin from his face.

Danny heard rather than saw Steve follow him and suddenly stop as he too took in the sight. The television was still showing the movie but the couch that had been filled with children was empty! A quick glance around the room affirmed that no one was in sight.

"Steve…" Danny began.

"They were here when I walked into the kitchen," Steve said.

Danny looked out the window. "I don't see them outside."

"We would have heard the door open."

Danny started looking under the couch and behind the other furniture but when he didn't find anyone he said, "They're probably hiding in their rooms."

Danny and Steve exchanged a glance and without speaking Steve moved to check the downstairs while Danny knew that he was to take the upstairs. Taking the steps two at a time Danny heard splashes coming from the bathroom. Knocking on door, he asked, "Kono are you alright in there."

"Yeah, I've had my bath."

Danny privately chuckled, "What about Tilda?"

"If I can keep da water in da tub it won't be much longer."

"Okay, is there anyone else in there?"

"No, why?"

"I'll tell you later."

Satisfied that Kono and Tilda were accounted for, Danny started to open the door to the master bedroom when he heard a loud angry voice yelling from downstairs, "What do I have to do to get some privacy? I'm on the phone!"

Apparently, Tim was in one of his moods. Danny was just glad that Steve was the one who got to handle the cranky teenager as he searched the bedroom. Unfortunately, he didn't find anyone in that room or in any of the others he searched.

Danny met up with Steve in the living room but they still only had two of the kids accounted for. After Steve reported his lack of findings, Danny added, "I checked under the beds, in the closets, and anywhere else I could think of but no luck."

The usually on-top-of-everything detective looked stumped. "What do we do next, Danno?"

"We call their bluff." Then hoping that Chin's kids were just playing with them, Danny called, "You can come out now! We give up! You win!"

Danny listened carefully for children giggling or sounds of movement but he heard none. Maybe this wasn't an impromptu game of hide-and-seek. "The movie could have masked the sound of the door," he suggested.

Steve sighed and led the way outside where they repeated their search with no results. Danny was starting to get worried. He didn't think all six kids could hide this well. The frustration was starting to get to him as Danny exclaimed, "We're detectives! We shouldn't be having this problem!"

"If this was a case we would have just sent out…" A look of alarm flashed across Steve's face as he stopped mid-sentence.

"What is it?" Danny asked.

"I'm imagining what would happen if we sent out an APB."

Danny didn't even want to think about it. "Nothing good." Then another thought hit him. "Steve, how are we going to tell Chin and Kono about this?"

"To be honest, I'm more worried about telling Lin."

Steve was right; Lin was not going to happy about them losing six of her children. As Danny imagined that conversation he started to feel guilty. He was the one who volunteered them for this; he was the one who believed that the three of them could handle eight children for a day.

"They couldn't have just disappeared," Danny stated. "Maybe Tim can tell us where to look."

Steve snorted, obviously not expecting any help from that quarter. However, the mention of Tim gave Danny an idea. "Steve, did you see into Tim's room?"

"No, it was locked. I talked to him through the door…" Steve looked like he was going to hit himself as he realized why Danny had asked this. Angry, he marched back into the house room and pounded on the teenager's door.

A voice yelled through the shut door. "I told you I'm on the phone!"

"Tim, I need you to open this door."

"Come on, man! I'm talking!"

Steve stood firm. "I know how to break down a door and if I have to you get to explain it to your father."

They heard a massive sigh and then the door opened to reveal a surly teenager.

Danny and Steve ignored Tim and stepped into the room. Almost immediately, Danny spotted six grinning faces sitting on top of Tim's bed. They all looked way too pleased with themselves. Though Danny had to give the Kelly kids credit, they had pulled a fast one on them.

Steve, however, was not amused and Danny could tell that he was on the verge of giving a long lecture when Thomas called out, "You found us! Mr. Steve's and Mr. Danny's turn to hide."

Before either of could respond, Tim spoke up, "Can I finish my conversation now?"

"No more hide-and-seek. Let's go," Danny ordered and the kids all jumped off the bed and walked out of the room leaving Tim alone in the room.

While Danny watched the kids find seats on the couch, Steve came and stood beside him. The older man shook his head as he vowed, "Danno, I am _never_ having kids."

* * *

A tired but content Chin Ho Kelly slowly pulled his car into his driveway. It had been a long day but the chance to spend some time with his wife and extended family had been worth it. His niece's wedding was beautiful and couple looked very happy. Chin had even enjoyed the two flights as it gave him the opportunity to converse with Lin without any interruptions, something that was a rarity in the Kelly household.

After parking, Chin looked over at his beautiful wife and said, "The house is still standing."

Lin smiled. "Did you doubt your friends?"

Chin shrugged and opened his car door. The couple walked toward the front door and Chin opened the door without knocking just in case his friends had managed to get any of his children to bed.

Stepping inside his home, Chin smiled at the scene before him. Kono was sleeping soundly on the couch with Tilda curled up on his chest. At a table in the corner, Danny was playing Monopoly with Tim, Alia, and Suzy. Suddenly, Danny let out a groan when he saw where his piece landed as Suzy let out a small whoop. Holding out his hands in defeat, Danny looked over at Chin and declared, "I'm bankrupt."

"Children will do that to you," Chin replied.

Chin turned as he heard soft footsteps coming of someone coming downstairs. Steve leaned over the railing and placed a finger on his lips and ordered, "Quiet. I finally got Amy to bed."

Chin looked over at Danny which was a mistake as they both had to keep themselves from laughing out loud. Who ever knew that Steve could be so domestic?

Danny regained control quicker and asked, "So Steve how many books did you have to read?"

"Only one but she wanted to hear three times," Steve said, shaking his head. "How was the wedding?"

"Wonderful," Lin replied. "Thank very much for watching the children."

Tilda stirred during the conversation and when she sat up and saw who was in the room she jumped off the couch yelling, "Daddy!"

Chin lifted up his youngest daughter and chuckled as Kono slowly woke up and realized what was going on. As the Hawaiian sat up, he grimaced. "Oh, my arms."

Suddenly they all heard the sound of lots of little feet hitting the floor and saw a mini stampede as Maria, Gabriel, Thomas, and Amy all ran right past Steve to greet their parents. Chin hugged each of his kids in turn and tried to listen as they all excitingly started to tell him about their day. Steve, however, looked like a man who had just seen all of his hard work go down the drain.

"Don't feel bad, Boss. This is normal," Chin assured him.

"Two hours work undone in two minutes," Steve murmured in disbelief.

Danny walked up and slapped Steve on the shoulder. "I guess we better be going."

Chin nodded, "Thank you again."

Danny, Steve, and Kono exchanged their goodbyes with the Kelly family and walked outside. When the door shut behind them, they all let out a simultaneously sigh of relief.

With nothing left to do, Danny jingled his car keys as he walked towards his car proud of the fact that this day could be qualified as a success. They had all survived and the kids even had fun, even if a bit of the fun was created at their, well mostly Steve's, expense.

Steve, however, wasn't of the same opinion as he turned to his second-in-command and declared, "Danno, when we get back home, I am going to make absolutely, positively sure that I never let you do this again! Or drag me into it."

"Sure, Steve." Danny smirked as he shot a knowing look at Kono because both of them knew that Steve really didn't mean it even if he would never admit it. For one thing Danny learned long ago was that Steve McGarrett would do anything for those he considered ohana.

PAU


End file.
